关于自我介绍，大家帮忙看看有没什么问题。 —

	〖卜元《南城儿女[年代]》成功签约电视剧〗

Good afternoon. My name is XX , and I am very glad to have the opportunity to study with everyone here. My major was Chinese at XX Univeristy, and I am also very interested in English which is why I am here.
I am not good at socializing, however I am determined to improve it as well as my English skills. Hopefully, you won't find me too boring at the end of the course(say this sentence in a joking tone)!　
分析：
Good afternoon. My name is XX　(开门见山，先说名字） , and I am very glad to have the opportunity to study with everyone here　（说高兴与大家一起学习，比说高兴学习这个课程亲切多了，如果老师是外教，他才不会介意你一定要表现得多爱这个课程）. My major was Chinese at XX Univeristy, and　（不用ｂｕｔ因为中文和英文也不是什么对立转折关系） I am also very interested in English which is why I am here.
I am not good at socializing, however I am determined to improve it as well as my English skills. Hopefully, you won't find me too boring at the end of the course(say this sentence in a joking tone　最后一句请开玩笑的说，这样气氛会更好。你是在向同班同学介绍自己不用搞得好像去军队报道）。

个人意见：
原来最后一句说希望大家都能学到些什么的话，最好不要说，因为大家不需要你代表。
另外，我可以说你的标点用的有点奇怪。我不太知道你到底想把句子断在哪。。。
总得来说，本来就是为了提高口语去了，简单明了的介绍就好了，不用搞得好像自己非常懂。如果我是你，我会用你的原文，因为那反映了你的真实水准。
只要在最后加上：
Good afternoon ,teachers and fellow students. Before I start my introduction ,I would like to say that I have prepared this introduction for a long time because I was afraid that I will make mistakes, however, I am here to learn and I should not hide my drawbacks. So, here is my little introduction:

i'm very glad to have the opportunity to study this training class.
my name is XX。i am majoring in chiness at XX university.my english is very poor,but i hope i can speak english perfectly,so i have come here .i tend to be withdraw,so i think i need to become more sociable and spend time with people .through ten days of study ,i hope we will benefit from this traing class.

№5 ☆☆☆抛砖引玉于2009-07-27 00:25:59留言☆☆☆　

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